The Whole30, Or Becoming Mrs. Patmore – Day 16 Update

Day 16 and the honeymoon is over.

Becoming Mrs. Patmore
A better name for the program would be The WholeDirty as that describes the current state of my kitchen.  Or at least what my kitchen would be if I didn’t slave at it.  Remember all the kitchen gadgets required?  Every crevice of them has puddles and splatches of frappéd organic matter.  Onion skins bond hydro-chemically to the tile floor. Peels and pith and stem ends of yesterday’s choppings tuck under the microwave and rot with vigor.  The Whole30 kitchen is a happy compost bin.

It dawned on me as I unloaded the dishwasher for the 1000th time that while I yearn to be a kinder more likable version of Downton Abbey’s Lady Mary, what I have become is Mrs. Patmore.


I am still committed and still enjoying feeling healthier, but this is a full time job.  If I am not chopping I am cleaning, and if I am not cleaning I am looking at the clock knowing that I am an hour behind on the next fresh original real succulent dish.  During the school year, when I dreamed of summer it wasn’t me standing at the kitchen sink.

Keeping the Stiff Upper Lip
All the old habits and conveniences of quick fix are deep, and breaking them incites actual anger.  Which is amusing because there is no one to get mad at, at least no one logical. I chose this myself.  And general undirected anger is a funny thing to watch, even in one’s own self.

I guess I could get mad at Melissa and Dallas, the cofounders of Whole30, but that’s like getting mad at the physical therapist for being stern.  “Do you want the use of your arm back after surgery? Then do the 15 supination stretches, or not. It’s entirely up to you.”  Well, if you put it that way . . .

I mentioned character building in an earlier post.  Character isn’t built with the first lean plate.  It’s built by continuing.

There’s the rub; Day 16 is about being grumpy with no one
to be grumpy at, but choosing to continue.

Plus I am accountable to you now.  I reached for the peanuts the other day and you were watching – all 5 of you, four of whom are my mother under different pseudonyms.  And the look on your faces said, “Seriously? After all your big talk?”  So I didn’t eat them.  Thank you.

No cravings thus far, even for a massive bowl of popcorn.  Like smoking (I assume), eating popcorn is more about the hand to mouth pleasure, rather than a love for popcorn itself.  So perhaps even as few as 16 days can break some of those habits.  That’s been one of the main benefits for me so far – interrupting bad habits long enough to recognize them and then to form better ones.

I do miss the occasional 2 inches of Pinot Grigio.  And I confess to succumbing twice in these 16 days.  The Whole30 creators say I must start back at Day 1 each time I do that.

How about we compromise?  I’ll add one day at the end for each time I show such appalling lack of character and self-control.

So at this point I am at Day 16 of The Whole32.

Believe me, having to add a day will be a very effective incentive to do things their way.  I repent!

I need to begin thinking about Day 33, or what I plan to do after this.

Meanwhile, I am off to a reunion with the ladies of our family in sunny Florida.  I’ll let you know how The Whole30 works on the road.   And if the media begin tracking a pod of frolicking porpoises off the north Florida coast, it’s just us.


One thought on “The Whole30, Or Becoming Mrs. Patmore – Day 16 Update

  1. Thanks for the quick light hearted respite this morning. I needed it!
    Have a good time swimming with the Dolphins!😂


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.