But It’s A Good Pain, Right?


Photo by Fran Upton

That is what we said to each other as we coasted home to the 9 Oaks Inn after day one. And it was that gratifying pain of hard work. It was also

Glorious, glorious, glorious. Exhilarating. To spend an entire day outside, cold, but not too cold, breathing the air of the woods, sunburned even! Well, that’s a privilege.

I’ll mention here the most mundane and almost irrelevant, but still notable, detail. My hat is off to you northern ladies. I never realized how challenging the beauty regimen is up here. I felt myself turn into a chapped, wind-whipped husk the minute I crossed the state line. My hands crusted, my hair wilted to a fine, static cape, my eyes watered. In short, the elements are against us and it’s a war. But, I told you this observation was irrelevant, so I’ll move on.

We discovered the Cross Country Ski Headquarters in Roscommon, Michigan on a general Google search and what a perfect find. Thank you, Google.  Bob and Lynn and their staff are excellent. They outfitted us for skis and provided Fran, and her hour of instruction. And then, we were off on the Wild Turkey trail.

The sound of the skis on the snow is the scrape of a sword coming from its scabbard. Very cold and metallic and pleasant.  Our skis are called ‘spiders’ which has something to do with snow conditions.  And tonight we have the skis in our car which is so legit.

For anyone wondering how to deal with flabby arms, this is your sport. This was a tricep workout extraordinaire. Tricep, every cep.

Our friend who told us that the front line muscle group that will lead the charge and suffer the most casualty was the inner thigh was almost right. Yes, inner thigh, but really that tendon (or ligament) right at the bend there that connects the leg to the trunk. Any attempt to turn or stop the ski relies entirely on that tendon, that one overwhelmed, overstretched piece of cartilage screeching like a cat in the night.

But louder than that cartilage’s screeches was the voice from core of my being that said, ‘If you fall down again, we are not getting you up. So do whatever you have to do to stay up.’ And I was all over that, except that many factors take you down, including the burst of pride that comes from achieving a little glide, or feeling on top of things enough to admire the deer hoof prints. Down you go.

Dinner at Spike’s Keg with the incomparable waitress Donalyn and the feisty guys at the pool table, then back to the 9 Oaks to rally our forces for day two and a trail along the Au Sable River. *Update: it is snowing and 20 degrees. Brrrrr, y’all.

      

 

Your Cullman Ambassadors To The Winter Games: Departure Day

We are not actually going to PyeongChang; we are going to Roscommon, Michigan for a 30-year anniversary cross-country ski trip. But we do expect a call from the Olympics just anytime when they see clips of us on the trail. At the very least, for the first time in our adult lives, we will watch the Olympics and not feel the couch-guilt of underachievers.

But first, a few shout-outs.  Hello to our Covenant Group who foresee all sorts of tendon damage. So far, so good! We haven’t torn our ACLs getting the suitcases out. Hello to the 9th – 12th graders at Cullman Christian School! Woohooo, y’all! Check the live webcam on Thursday and Friday. https://crosscountryski.click2stream.com  I’ll be the one in the purple jacket on the ground. Now, get on with vocab.  Thank you to Morgan Moore and Rachel Eidson at Elevate Barre for training me for this endeavor. I’ll be repping the studio with my hard-won cap! Hello to our 5 children/spouse/fiance who for some reason think we are going to die on this trip. This is not downhill skiing so our chances of death, at least in my inexperienced surmising, should be significantly lower. We will google the difference in black bear versus brown bear protocol before we head out and try to get it right should the panicked moment arise. Hypothermia won’t be a problem which you’ll see when I describe our packing. What else? Dehydration? Snow is water, right??

So we are packing today. We’ve been told that cross-country skiing is very hard and exhausting and we will be drenched with sweat, so dress in layers that can be removed. In fact, we are evidently supposed to be cold when we start out. I don’t like being cold, so that advice will be hard to heed. We’ve also been told that we will fall down a lot and that our inner thighs will be crippled in pain on day 2 from maneuvering 7-foot skis as we try to get back up. I doubt the 9 Oaks motel in Grayling, MI has a resident masseuse, but I could be wrong. I hope I am.

Ok, then. Layers. That simply means bring everything we own. We did buy some neat little tubes of fabric called Buffs that can be worn in 12 different ways and look all manner of cool. Not on us, but on the models in the video tutorial. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sSvRm4CHmvE

Our dining plans include Spike’s Keg O’ Nails in Grayling every night because look at it!   http://www.spikes-grayling.com. Vietnamese in Indy, Middle Eastern in Dearborn.

Oh, our pets. Could someone please come feed . . . wait, WE DON’T HAVE ANY! HAHAHAHA.

Today we leave. We will hit Indianapolis, IN; Roscommon, MI; Detroit, MI; Cincinnati, OH, and then back to good old Cullman.

And if that lineup doesn’t strike you as totally romantic then I don’t know what would.